Life in the ‘Ham

Well, folks. I am writing this from the comfort of my lovely apartment in Birmingham, AL [well, technically, Homewood. But I’m still figuring out this ‘village’ stuff].  And as I am sitting here, I have successfully made it through orientation, [complete with team-building and presentations], composite pictures, a day of classes, and perhaps most impressive, parking and commuting in professional business attire to class. The struggle is real, y’all.

In all seriousness though, I have thought about updating the many people who have so sweetly checked on me during this transition, but I have resisted thus far. And the reality of it is – my time here has been so so good, but the biggest thing I’ve learned isn’t fun to confront: I am selfish.  Let me tell you… there is absolutely nothing like moving to a place where you don’t know people and don’t have community figured out yet to realize that you want life to revolve around yourself.  On Tuesday morning, my first morning here, I opened up My Utmost for His Highest, and this is what I found.

Beware of allowing self-consciousness to continue because by slow degrees it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is Satanic. ‘Well, I am not understood; this is a thing they ought to apologize for; that is a point I really must have cleared up.’ Leave others alone and ask the Lord to give you Christ-consciousness, and He will poise you until the completeness is absolute.

I get it, Lord. Backin’ off on the pity party I have been throwing for myself. It’s hard though! My natural tendency is to think me-me-me in all this. “Gosh I wish I had fill-in-the-blank right now.” “Man, I wish that I had so-and-so to visit with.” I’ve begun to realize that I don’t need to take this transition steel-faced and without emotion, but rather, that I need to give it to the Lord – to the one who called me here in the first place.  I have so sweetly felt Him reminding me of the very thing I learned this summer – He is enough! He gives me daily bread.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. [psalm 84:11]

He has provided abundantly in the one week that I have been here. Friends in my cohort, sweet camp friends reaching out and bringing me to church with them, professors I’ve already begun to build relationships with, good conversation with friends going through similar transitions, a wonderful roommate…. the list goes on and on. I have been reminded in my one week here more than ever that our God truly is Jehovah Jireh – He provides.

And so in the midst of figuring life out here in this new place, I will choose to wake up in the morning and attempt to be conscious not of myself, but of Christ, the one who is constant and in whom I can find fullness of joy.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy! [psalm 16:11]

 

JOY for Julia

This blog was started as a way to stay in touch with family and friends as I am moving to a new place this fall. In light of celebrating Julia’s life, this post comes first. 

Oh, Julia! You are DANCING with our Father right now. You are not bound to the sorrow and pain of this world anymore, and you are home!

I have struggled today to figure out what to do with my emotions. On one hand, I am so very sad. I long for you to still be here and wish I could time travel back to camp 2 weeks ago and hug you again. I don’t get why the Lord chose to take you home today.  But, at the same time, I am so very at peace and filled with joy. Because, Julia, you are in the presence of our Savior. You are in a place where there is no pain, and no suffering! The bible says ‘better is one day in your courts, Oh Lord,‘ and Julia, starting today you get forever and ever!

Those two emotions – deep sorrow, and deep peace, didn’t sit right with me when I first experienced them.  I felt tension all afternoon as I fought all the emotions that hit me. But what I have realized though, is that right there, in that tension, that’s where the Lord gets the glory in all this. Because the world out there can look and see how deeply we loved you and how much we miss you already, but even more so, they can see how joy-filled we are that you are face to face with our Savior right now! It doesn’t make sense – but that is the hope we have in Jesus. It is through this that the life you lived is continuing to bring people to the foot of the cross, Julia!

I will miss you when I eat nutella and whenever I step foot in Swift & Finch. I will remember you when I eat chocolate pie with whipped cream and whenever I see the book Cold Tangerines. And I will never, ever be able to be at a Chippewa/Catawba turtle tug without thinking about you on the side of the pool dancing!

Friend, thank you for living life to the full and showing me Jesus. What a gift it was to spend this summer with you.

For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. Psalm 84:10-11