Well, folks. I am writing this from the comfort of my lovely apartment in Birmingham, AL [well, technically, Homewood. But I’m still figuring out this ‘village’ stuff]. And as I am sitting here, I have successfully made it through orientation, [complete with team-building and presentations], composite pictures, a day of classes, and perhaps most impressive, parking and commuting in professional business attire to class. The struggle is real, y’all.
In all seriousness though, I have thought about updating the many people who have so sweetly checked on me during this transition, but I have resisted thus far. And the reality of it is – my time here has been so so good, but the biggest thing I’ve learned isn’t fun to confront: I am selfish. Let me tell you… there is absolutely nothing like moving to a place where you don’t know people and don’t have community figured out yet to realize that you want life to revolve around yourself. On Tuesday morning, my first morning here, I opened up My Utmost for His Highest, and this is what I found.
Beware of allowing self-consciousness to continue because by slow degrees it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is Satanic. ‘Well, I am not understood; this is a thing they ought to apologize for; that is a point I really must have cleared up.’ Leave others alone and ask the Lord to give you Christ-consciousness, and He will poise you until the completeness is absolute.
I get it, Lord. Backin’ off on the pity party I have been throwing for myself. It’s hard though! My natural tendency is to think me-me-me in all this. “Gosh I wish I had fill-in-the-blank right now.” “Man, I wish that I had so-and-so to visit with.” I’ve begun to realize that I don’t need to take this transition steel-faced and without emotion, but rather, that I need to give it to the Lord – to the one who called me here in the first place. I have so sweetly felt Him reminding me of the very thing I learned this summer – He is enough! He gives me daily bread.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. [psalm 84:11]
He has provided abundantly in the one week that I have been here. Friends in my cohort, sweet camp friends reaching out and bringing me to church with them, professors I’ve already begun to build relationships with, good conversation with friends going through similar transitions, a wonderful roommate…. the list goes on and on. I have been reminded in my one week here more than ever that our God truly is Jehovah Jireh – He provides.
And so in the midst of figuring life out here in this new place, I will choose to wake up in the morning and attempt to be conscious not of myself, but of Christ, the one who is constant and in whom I can find fullness of joy.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy! [psalm 16:11]
tune my heart to sing thy grace 